Monday, April 21, 2014

A Negative Review: The Prestige Sucks

Let's not make this a habit. I really like this guy.

Christopher Nolan sucks. His Batman movies are "Batman" in name only, Memento tries to be too clever for its own good, Inception is downright terrible, and The Prestige is a total shitfest. Maybe I just haven't been smoking enough of whatever it is one has to take in order to see the "insane brilliance" that's otherwise so apparent and oozing out of Nolan's work.

The Prestige, a magician movie without any attempt at magic, starts out about two loser magician twins. One makes his wife kill herself, and the other rejects his only true love and ends up getting hanged. There's also some other schmuck magician who's wife is made to drown by one of the first two guys, although it's not ever made clear why this happens. So, this third guy eventually gets a cloning machine (what?), and his first thought is to start using it to get back at the guy who killed his wife by cloning himself repeatedly and then killing all those clones by submerging them in water tanks until they drown. This ends up making the first loser who doesn't get hanged kill this third guy by shooting him with a pistol.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

A Negative Review: Yojimbo Sucks

Wow, talk about a rip-off. Yojimbo, a confusing, feudal movie about a lone samurai wandering into town and causing trouble, is certainly not the first proprietor of this plot-archetype. Five minutes into the movie, I was already disgusted with how blatantly it was ripping off its plot from genius director Sergio Leone. I mean, seriously, that alone should quantify the extent of this movie's failure – it completely lacks originality and was lifted scene-by-scene from the hard work of a different, vastly superior director.