Sunday, October 20, 2013

A Negative Review: The Fifth Estate Sucks

Pictured: typical reaction to The Fifth Estate

The only thing leaking from The Fifth Estate is quality. To say that this movie is atrocious would be praising it – in fact, if you were actually so ambitious as to make that claim, the word would take you to court on defamation charges. It's that bad. It is unequivocally, bar none, the worst movie I have seen so far in 2013.

The movie opens interestingly enough, with what mostly everyone knows already: Assange has just published the infamous U.S. military and diplomatic documents, and the info-world is about to fall head over heels. Instead, however, the movie denies the viewer these reactions (and never ends up delivering them later on), skips back a few years to some irrelevant conference, then immediately goes into a montage to cheat the audience out of an exposition. When the movie decides there's been enough veering about and 2008-eqsue CGI, Benedict Cumberbatch takes the reigns and the movie stops trying to captivate.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

A Negative Review: V for Vendetta Sucks

Terrorism is really cool, guys!

Okay. So we're in Britain, about 20 or 30 or something years into the future (although technology has not advanced, apparently), and the government has been overtaken by what the movie passes off as the conservative party, even though by the movie's portrayal, said party is much more akin to the Nazis that the former historically stood up against. Anyway. None of the streetlights work, ominous shadows are gloomily cast along every dark alley, and the police is everywhere and out to get you. Now, enter Evey – a character so ineptly acted by Natalie Portman that she is often equating "the U.K." with "England" and commanding a British accent one would expect from someone having just thrown up a lump of charcoal. No matter. Petty trivialities. As one would come to expect, the "V" character is soon on-screen and prancing about, spewing out tirade after meaningless tirade until eventually the movie decides it's had enough and some substance needs to be given. It is at this point where everything slowly goes wrong...

Thursday, October 3, 2013

A Negative Review: Breaking Bad S05E16 "Felina" Sucks

No witty caption. But this looks cool.

Maybe now that Breaking Bad is over, its inflated reputation can eventually simmer down and some of its weaker writing can be viewed with a more objective eye. It's kind of hard to talk with people about this show because most are complete fanboys/girls who, by virtue of the show's absurd, weekly pre-episode hype, dismiss any illogical or wonky writing. This isn't to say that Breaking Bad is... bad... it isn't. Not at all. Breaking Bad is very good – however, season 5A mostly sucks and the series finale definitely sucks. So in no particular order...