Showing posts with label star trek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label star trek. Show all posts

Friday, November 8, 2013

A Negative Review: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Sucks

Mhm.

Let's face it: DS9 is pretty terrible. Of all the various Treks, DS9 was the only one to really have a Whedon-esque arc going on, but despite this, ended up falling victim to many of the shortcomings plaguing the likes of The Next Generation and Voyager. As the series progressed, character arcs went to some pretty weird places, various subplots were entirely forgotten, and Kira's haircut became increasingly more bizarre. Certainly, not all was bad – at least the entire show wasn't based around an omnipotent troll having decided to amuse himself by throwing humanity down the gauntlet. Instead, the entire show was based on some omnipotent trolls deciding they weren't having a good time with humanity and other "solids" (what?) in general, such that the former group ends up trying to murder everyone. And then something about magic power orbs and The Prophets. I'm not really sure.

It's quite difficult to judge DS9, however, because un/fortunately, the show is pretty selective about sticking to its various arcs with any consistency. It doesn't help much that the pacing between episodes is so grungy, either, since one minute you've got the crew relaxing on Planet Sex (sorry, I mean Risa), and the next you have the entirety of DS9 being evacuated for the 40th time because those silly Cardassians are raiding again. What is the show trying to do, really? Is this whole deal with the Dominion the focus, or is it fleshing out the characters in more casual scenarios? The show never quite makes up its mind, and developments obtained in one half don't necessarily carry over into the other. Perhaps this is all a bit vague, so at this point it's probably necessary to look at each character individually (starting with the shittest, and progressing to least shitty):

Monday, September 16, 2013

A Negative Review: Star Trek: Into Darkness Sucks


Typical reaction after seeing Star Trek: Into Darkness

Rarely, if ever, have I seen such an inept attempt at anything Trek as Star Trek: Into Darkness. Since seeing the movie, I am afflicted by hideously unsettling nightmares, which have since constituted such a tremendous impact on my psyche that the merest mention of sleep instinctively causes my spine to shiver and an all-encompassing sense of dead to take me over. In addition, any food I place into my mouth turns into ash, and everything I touch becomes withered and dies. In short... this movie, to me... is not a great movie. Into Darkness is Star Trek for those who know within themselves that they do not like Star Trek, yet insist on watching it anyway. The mess that results from this is a modernized geek aesthetic wedded with something perhaps less esoteric for the casual viewer, absent the philosophy, quirkiness, and admittedly silly ideals of the previous movies and series – but in doing this, Abrams has succeeded in stripping his movie of the very characteristics which define Star Trek.