A Negative Review: Out of the Furnace Sucks

You would never see Christian Bale equally happy with Out of the Furnace

It appears that when I entered the theater, I really watched two separate movies – one was pretty bad, and the other was an utter travesty. The revenge-flick component, as falsely advertised to be what Out of the Furnace is all about, sort of works like this: Christian Bale goes after Woody Harrelson, who plays a psychotic hillbilly wacko backwoods hinterland peckerwood nut-job, based on some bizarre stereotype about what Ramapough Mountain inhabitants must be like. Apparently, this means that Harrelson is a slave owner living in the 1800s that also sells drugs and runs a fight club on the side – and honestly, it would be a waste of time to explain why this is ethnically incorrect. The other movie is about Christian Bale's bad run with lady luck, and could have been something interesting, but is repeatedly bogged down by the first movie. Overall, Out of the Furnace is more of an awkward experience than anything else, as the audience realizes what missed potential there was.

A Negative Review: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Sucks

O Smaug, the pretentious!

There is something to be said for leeway as far as novel-to-movie adaptations go. However, left unsaid, and often heavily implied, is the unfortunately lesser observed notion of keeping with the spirit and tone of the source material; in this manner, The Desolation of Smaug fails more severely than does Sean Bean in living until the end of a movie.

I can tell you that, certainly, I am a fan of Tolkien's work. I adore the books of the original trilogy, as well as the corresponding movies. When I read The Hobbit, I liked it very much as well – but if you were to show me the two current movies with which the novel shares its name, I would likely question whether the director had any actual contact with the novel. Throughout The Desolation of Smaug, only very few scenes and characters appear roughly based upon the novel – there are some barrels, there is a hike through Mirkwood with its corresponding spiders, and, unlike the previous installment, there is actually a fucking dragon in this movie. Unfortunately, and rather noticeably, in straying from the tone of the source material to such an extent, The Desolation of Smaug never quite makes up its mind about what kind of movie it wants to be. Is it trying to be funny, as a comedy of sorts? It it fantasy-adventure like the original trilogy? Or maybe, is it an action film? Well, the answer is irrelevant, because the movie utterly fails in all three departments: the humor entices no laughter, the action lacks tension, and the fantasy comes off as uninspired.